Wake Up
by larrydrarryklaine
Summary: Every night Harry sleeps next to Louis. And every night Louis is left completely unaware of the heartache that lies right next to him. Larry Stylinson
1. Chapter 1

**ATTENTION: THIS STORY IS ABOUT A BAND THAT I CREATED IN MY HEAD. THE BAND IS CALLED "NO DIRECTION" AND THE MEMBERS ARE AS FOLLOWS:**  
** -HARRY STILES**  
** -LOUIS THOMLINSON**  
** -ZAYN MALICK**  
** -LIAM PAIN**  
** -NIALL HORAM**  
** ALL CHARACTERS AND EVENTS IN THIS STORY ARE COMPLETELY FICTIONAL. ANY LIKENESS TO ACTUAL PEOPLE AND/OR EVENTS IS COMPLETELY COINCIDENTAL AND UNINTENTIONAL.**

**Now, on with the mediocre fanficition!**

Harry's point of view.

I've taken to sleeping in Louis' bunk. Well, I suppose I couldn't really call it 'sleeping' since no actual 'sleeping' takes place. That is, at least not on my part. Every night at eleven o' clock I retire to the bunk above Louis' and stare out the window of our tour bus, waiting. Eventually, (no earlier than eleven thirty, no later than one.) I will hear Louis crawl in to the bunk underneath me. He lays there for maybe ten minutes every night just humming softly to himself. And every night I almost fall asleep just listening to sound of his muted melody.

Once he's stopped I wait for fifteen more minutes, just to be safe, before descending down the floor of the tour bus. And every night, when I pull that thin red curtain aside, I'm always shocked by what I see.

Louis is gorgeous. I know it, management knows it, millions of screaming girls all over the world know it, and even though he doesn't always act like it Louis knows it to. He's lying above his blankets, clad in a white t-shirt and black sweats, with his back pressed against the tour bus wall. His bangs, that he spends nearly all morning fixing and perfecting, have fallen helplessly into his face and move slightly with every quiet puff of breath he releases. I sit down in the empty spot next to him, slowly as humanly possible. I take a second to make sure that the small gesture hasn't woken him, even though I know it hasn't. Louis wouldn't wake up if the whole bus was swept up by a tornado and dropped into the ocean. I just worry because even though I have planned out what to say to him if he ever does wake up, _"You were making noises mate, I came down to check on you."_ I know I would freeze up in horror as soon as his blue eyes met mine.

Satisfied with his state of unconsciousness I sidle up next to him and close the curtain behind me. Yes, to be caught by Louis would be horrible. But being caught by Zayn on one of his many nightly pee breaks, or by Niall every time he gets "the midnight munchies" would be just as bad. I lay my head down on the pillow next to the one Louis is using and turn on my side, so I can face him properly with out touching him. This is my favorite part of the night, where he's too tired to wake up, and I'm too excited to fall asleep.

Is that odd? That I get giddy from the prospect of watching my best mate sleep? Odd isn't the word I would use. Horribly and undeniably creepy? Yes. And even though I know that what I do is disturbing and a complete invasion of privacy, I can't seem to control myself. Every morning when I wake up in my empty bed I nearly cry myself back to sleep. It just feels so _wrong_ lying there without Louis' warmth beside me, without his breath on my face or seeing the way his face always looks so young a carefree. And that's what love is, isn't it? When you do careless and stupid things because it physically hurts to be without that one person for more than an hour. And that's just what Louis Thomlinson is to me, my one person. My one person whose smile warms me more than sunshine, my one person who can make me laugh when I don't even want to smile, that one person who I find undeniably sexy in baggy sweats, too large hoodies, and glasses, that one person who if I never saw again I think I just might die.

I am in love with Louis Thomlinson.

I've known this for at least a year and I've stopped denying it for about half. I would shout it from the rooftops if I just weren't so damned scared. Whenever I get anywhere close to telling Louis about the feelings I've been harboring my mind always comes up with the worst possible scenario. Fans turning on me, management being outraged, Zayn and Niall and Liam all shutting me out, being kicked out of the band, but worst of all the look of disgust on Louis' face. I don't think I could survive if Louis hated me, but still, I don't think I can survive much more of this either. I cant keep harboring my feelings and sneaking into his bed, I can't keep pretending that I don't like as more than my best mate and that every time he smiles that Louis smile at me my knees don't go weak, and I can't denying the way my body reacts to him every time he pecks my cheek or snuggles up close to me. It hurts to damn much.

And every night it's like I'm standing on the edge of an abyss. I could either stay where I am, safe with Louis' friendship but be forced to continue my sad little acts of lonely desperation, or I could jump. I could jump and confess to Louis that I am madly and deeply in love with him, that I think we belong together, that I am so selfish to think that being his best friend just isn't good enough anymore, and he could either respond in one of two ways.

One, Louis could reject me. Our friendship would never be the same, he'd avoid me, I'd lose what little physical contact I have with him, I would have destroyed the best thing that ever happened to me and lose all hope that there could ever be more. Or two, Louis could fall in love with me. The very idea makes a stupid grin nearly split my face in two. Louis and I could go on dates and hold hands and kiss and live happily ever after. And it's these two responses that every night make me nearly shake in fear that he'll wake up and see me and hate me for the rest of his life. But they're also what, every night, nearly make me reach out, and wake him up myself.

**A/N: Please, please, please leave a review. (Thank you so much for taking the time to read this whether you review or not though!) This is my first story so it's not exactly Shakespeare but it came out a lot better than I expected. I will probably be writing more on here but I'll need some more inspiration, if would like to give me an idea for another Fanfic (I also ship drarry and wouldn't mind writing a story about those two either) I'll credit you. Which doesn't really mean anything considering no one follows me, but still.**


	2. Chapter 2

**ATTENTION: THIS STORY IS ABOUT A BAND THAT I CREATED IN MY HEAD. THE BAND IS CALLED "NO DIRECTION" AND THE MEMBERS ARE AS FOLLOWS:**  
** -HARRY STILES**  
** -LOUIS THOMLINSON**  
** -ZAYN MALICK**  
** -LIAM PAIN**  
** -NIALL HORAM**  
** ALL CHARACTERS AND EVENTS IN THIS STORY ARE COMPLETELY FICTIONAL. ANY LIKENESS TO ACTUAL PEOPLE AND/OR EVENTS IS COMPLETELY COINCIDENTAL AND UNINTENTIONAL.**

Louis' point of view.

Harry doesn't think I know. He doesn't think I know that he crawls into my bed every night and just lies there, staring. And he doesn't know how much I look forward to feeling his warmth beside me or how I love the way he sighs contentedly when he does. He doesn't know how much it hurts when I wake up every morning and he's gone.

Things hadn't always been like this, it had all started about seven months ago. I remember one night specifically. We had just finished a rather lengthy show and I, like the other three boys, retired to our individual bunks earlier than usual. Harry on the other hand couldn't seem to sit still. He kept fidgeting in his bunk, hopping down every so often just meander about the bus. I kept my eyes screwed shut willing sleep to just take me already. But I couldn't seem to relax knowing Harry couldn't either. Eventually, with a heavy sigh, I gave up. I pulled the curtain aside and stumbled slightly as I stood on my weary legs. Sounds of Harry rifling through our limited food supplies filled my ears and my feet followed them without a second thought. As soon as I pulled back the thin fabric separating the beds from the 'living' area, I couldn't help but smile. There, sat in front of our tiny little cupboard, was a particularly disheveled looking Harry. His shirt appeared wrinkled and bunched like he had just been wringing it out roughly and his sweatpants had been messily pushed up to his knees. He ran a hand through his brown curls and sighed. He looked up and jumped at the sight of me. I giggled.

"Jesus Christ Lou, are you trying to give me a heart attack?" He whispered harshly, not wanting to wake the boys.

"Sorry Haz," I smiled, making my way over to his spot on the floor. As soon as I had plopped down Harry wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me closer. "Can't sleep?" I asked him.

"Nah, didn't really try to be honest."

"Why not? You look pretty tired to me." I said, and he did. His limbs moved languidly and his eyelids remained half hooded over his green eyes.

"Aw thanks Lou, how nice of you to notice." He said in a mocking tone, I hit him playfully and he laughed quietly before continuing. "I just don't want to lose this, you know?"

He looked at me thoughtfully and I felt utterly lost. "What do you mean Harry?"

"It's just… This all seems so unreal, Louis. The fans, the money, the fame, the boys, everything! It's just like a dream. And sometimes I get scared that that's all it really is and if I fall asleep I'll lose everything." I was about to respond when he added, so quietly I almost didn't hear it, "I'll lose you."

I wasn't expecting that, not at all. But when I looked at him he looked so sad and frightened that all traces of shock melted away and was replaced by this burning need to comfort him. So I stood up, and for a second his eyes grew so wide so wide in fear I almost cried, before offering him my hand. Harry took it immediately bounded upwards like a mattress spring.

"Sleep in my bed tonight Hazza," I whispered. "I promise I'll still be there when you wake up."

And that's how we got here. That's why I'm lying with my back pressed against the wall of the bus, purposefully leaving space for Harry, pretending to sleep while he stares. Ever since that night he sneaks in, but I'm not sure why he goes through all the trouble. If he were to ask I would let him in with out even thinking. Maybe then he would actually wrap his arms around me like he did that first night, stay like he did that first night, maybe I could wake up in his arms like that first night. But he never asks. Every night I try to stay awake as long as possible, try to enjoy my secret time with Harry as much as I can with out either of us exchanging words or touches. But every night I fall asleep, and every morning he's gone.

It's hard to act like I don't know. It's hard to look him in the eye every day and pretend like I'm completely unaware us this thing we share. And I know somewhere in my mind that one night I'll snap. I won't be able to hide how scared and confused and hurt by all this I am. And when Harry finally realizes I'm awake I don't want it to be by accident. So I roll over.

Now it's not like I've never moved before. If I just stayed as still as a statue all night then Harry would obviously be able to tell I'm faking it. But most nights I just move an arm or a leg by an inch or two. Tonight I cross the empty space between us so his chest presses firmly into my back and our bodies align everywhere else to. Harry didn't move, he didn't breathe, and if I had to guess I'd say he wasn't thinking either. I was so tempted to look over my shoulder and see his face but I didn't want to let this charade up just yet, I wanted to see what he would do. But as soon as he did respond I immediately regretted waiting. Harry began moving away, pulling backwards from my body and out of my bed. The loss of his warmth next to me felt like a stab wound through the back, and before I could register what I was doing I turned around a looked him in the eye. Harry's head shot up at the movement and his eyes grew wider than I've ever seen them. He stood completely still with one hand still holding the curtain open and one knee still propped up on my bed.

"Lou-" He croaked out, but I stopped him before he could continue.

"Don't leave me." I said sternly, a small amount of anger seeping into my voice.

"W-what?" Harry stuttered. He looked absolutely shocked, like he had been expecting me to kick him out or yell at him. Honestly, I couldn't do either if I wanted to.

"I promised you once that I'd be there when you woke up," I said. "It's about time you do the same for me Harry." He didn't move at all, and for one stupid moment I was so scared he was going to leave me. But then he was back, lying down next to me in the spot where he belongs and wrapping his arms around me. I released a heavy sigh into his chest and inhaled his scent deeply before saying,

"I love you Hazza."

And there wasn't a moment of silence before it was met with a,

"I love you to Lou-Bear."

**A/N: "Yay rainbowsugarcupcakes posted a second chapter!" says no one. I like this chapter considerably more than the last. I have not been able to get it out of my head for the twenty-four hours so I decided to say 'what the hell?' and just post it. Please take a moment to review and thank you for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3

**ATTENTION: THIS STORY IS ABOUT A BAND THAT I CREATED IN MY HEAD. THE BAND IS CALLED "NO DIRECTION" AND THE MEMBERS ARE AS FOLLOWS:**  
** -HARRY STILES**  
** -LOUIS THOMLINSON**  
** -ZAYN MALICK**  
** -LIAM PAIN**  
** -NIALL HORAM**  
** ALL CHARACTERS AND EVENTS IN THIS STORY ARE COMPLETELY FICTIONAL. ANY LIKENESS TO ACTUAL PEOPLE AND/OR EVENTS IS COMPLETELY COINCIDENTAL AND UNINTENTIONAL.**

Harry's Point of view.

I've taken to sleeping in Louis's bed. And he knows. The very thought has me grinning like an idiot but I just can't help it. There was a short time when I thought this would end. I feared that when we came back from touring that this wouldn't continue. I smile even wider at the memory of our first night back home.

_"And just where do you think you're going?" Louis asks me, hand on hip. I'm standing outside my bedroom door and his fluffy little head is poking out from behind his and I can't help but giggle. _

_ "I'm going to bed Lou." I respond. He steps out of his room entirely and now I can see his tan form in all its glory. He's shirtless, and with every movement his muscles flex and ripple. I swallow thickly. Louis grabs my wrist and pulls me towards his room._

_ "Not without me you're not."_

And now I'm here, with early morning sunlight hitting my face and Lou's hair tickling my nose. We haven't slept without the other right there for quite sometime now and almost become a bit unhealthy for me. Like if the situation ever arises where Louis is out of the house for the night I can't sleep. Or when we stay up the whole night talking and can barely function the next day from lack of sleep. Or when Lou has nightmares. There has only been one night where I woke to Lou crying and thrashing about but I still feel the fear. It took me nearly an hour to get Louis' painful sobs back down to the usual sleepy breathing I've grown to love so much. And then there are times where Louis dreams about _other_ things. Things that cause him to unconsciously moan and rut against me while I lay there… and let him… because I don't want to embarrass him… yeah that's why…

I hear the sound of a phone buzzing and I fish under the covers for the source. And when I do I immediately frown.

**ONE NEW TEXT FROM EL: Hey babe. Wanna come over today? I REALLY miss you ;)**

I stare at the screen for a while before I make a decision I know I'll end up regretting. I delete the message. I hate to say it because Eleanor is such a nice girl and she means so much to Lou, but I can't stand her anymore. Whenever her and Louis are together she always makes him laugh, and smile, and they hold hands, and hug, and kiss, and I'm jealous. I want to be Eleanor. It's horrible, I know I should thanking god everyday for ever being able to know Louis let alone being his best mate. But I want those things to, I want to hold hands with him every chance I get, I want to hug him and be able to linger there, I want to kiss his lips instead of his cheek, I want to just throw him down and… I sigh. This isn't right. I shouldn't thinking about being able to have my way with Louis while he's curled up in my arms. At the very least I should leave the room before imagining him naked. So I slip out of bed and exit the room as quietly as possible and retreating to the kitchen. I know Lou will be fussy when he wakes up and I'm not there so I begin cooking him some eggs.

Not ten minutes have passed before I hear a loud whine of "HAAAAZZZZZAAAAAA." I smile.

"Yes Boo?" I shout back.

I hear the bedroom door creak and Louis' feet padding down the steps. "Don't you 'yes boo' me young man." He says, making his way to the kitchen and hopping up on the counter beside the stove. He looks adorable sitting ankles crossed clad in sweats, glasses, mussed hair, and one of my hoodies. His face is wrinkled with mostly fake anger and I can't resist pecking him on the cheek. I swear he blushes as I pull away but I refuse to indulge myself in such thoughts.

"I made you breakfast." I say, serving up some eggs for the both of us. I walk over to the couch and Lou follows, arms crossed in defiance.

"I don't need your eggs Stiles." I laugh.

"Lou, you would burn the house down trying to make cereal. I think you need my eggs."

"Maybe I don't want your eggs."

I lift the plate until it's hovering just below his nose. "You know you want it Louis." He stays standing for a moment, foot tapping and hips cocked to the side.

"Fine." He breathes before sitting next to me and curling into my side. "Just promise me something Harry."

"Anything your heart desires Boo Bear." I bring the plate of eggs to the table and pick up the TV remote before Louis bring it back down.

"Harry I'm being serious, look at me." I turn to him, immediately concerned by his change of tone. "Don't leave me like that again. Waking up isn't the same when you're not there." He says and my heart shatters. I wrap my arms around his waist and lift him into my lap, burying my face into the crook of his neck.

"I'm so sorry Louis, I never meant to hurt you." I nearly start to cry before Louis giggles lightly.

"Harry it's fine, I'm fine." He lifts my chin up so I'm forced to look into his baby blue eyes. "Just promise me you'll be there."

"I promise you Louis, I'll be there." I lean up and kiss the tip of his nose and this time, I know he blushes.

"G-good." He stutters nervously. "Now gimme some of those eggs I'm _starving_."

**A/N: Bad Fanfic is bad. I know. I've just had the most horrible case of writers block and I felt so bad for not updating since I get so much more feedback than I expected. So I decided to just try my best and deal with the fact that this just isn't very good. If you have any ideas for me PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let me know. I'm positively ****_dying_**** over here. Thanks for reading and please let me know what you think, I accept feedback in the form of reviews and interpretive dance. Also, I'm sorry these chapters are so short. I really have no excuse for that one.**


	4. Chapter 4

**ATTENTION: THIS STORY IS ABOUT A BAND THAT I CREATED IN MY HEAD. THE BAND IS CALLED "NO DIRECTION" AND THE MEMBERS ARE AS FOLLOWS:**  
** -HARRY STILES**  
** -LOUIS THOMLINSON**  
** -ZAYN MALICK**  
** -LIAM PAIN**  
** -NIALL HORAM**  
** ALL CHARACTERS AND EVENTS IN THIS STORY ARE COMPLETELY FICTIONAL. ANY LIKENESS TO ACTUAL PEOPLE AND/OR EVENTS IS COMPLETELY COINCIDENTAL AND UNINTENTIONAL.**

**A/N: WARNING! This story is now rated M for non-graphic Haylor smut. Enjoy my lovelies!**

**Harry's POV.**

You know how when you can't get someone out of your head people tell you to move on? Well, no one ever tells you that you shouldn't try and move on with Taylor Swaft. Though I suppose that's a given. I've heard her music before why would I assume that she _isn't_ crazy? We've only been dating for a month and I already know how many kids she wants and what her 'dream wedding' will be like. (Spoiler Alert: I'm the groom.)

And to make matters worse Louis hates her. He acts like he doesn't but I know the truth. He's barely spoken to me since we started dating which is quite the feat considering we live in the same house and sleep in the same bed. And thank god for that, I have to sneak into his room and crawl into bed after I know he's fallen asleep but it's still worth it. I suppose I don't _have_ to sneak in, I'm just so scared of him kicking me out and losing the only time I can be close to Louis.

I sigh and unlock the door to our flat, surprised when the scent of tomato sauce wafts over and hits me in the face. My stomach growls. I've been buying presents for Christmas and Lou's birthday since noon and it's nearly five.

"What are you making Lou?" I say as I make my way towards the kitchen. "I thought you would be at Liam's all night." But when I get to the kitchen I don't see the familiar fluffy head of hair I thought I would, no, the hair I see is long, straight, and blond.

"Taylor?"

"Hi babe!" Taylor turns, her hair flying over her shoulders. "Surprise!" She shouts. "I made you lasagna!" I look around her to see a mess of dishes spread out on the counter and a small splat of sauce that somehow found its way onto the wall.

"I see that." I say. "What's the occasion?" Taylor turns back to the oven leaning down and opening the door.

"Our one month anniversary silly!" She giggles as she removes the lasagna and places it on the counter, nearly knocking off a measuring cup in the process. And that's another scary thing about Taylor, a normal person might have been at least mildly upset by my lack of remembrance. (Or caring, for that matter.) But it doesn't even faze her. It's like she lives in a little bubble of sunshine and kittens, until someone dumps her if her music is anything to go by.

"Can I ask how you got in?" I say, as I sit at the dining table. I take a look around me and notice the lights are dimmed and the table is all set with candles and glass plates. They must be Taylor's; I had to replace all of our glass plates with plastic ones because Louis kept breaking them. I smile slightly before Taylor's shrill laugh reminds me where I am.

"Honey, you gave me a key!" _Damn, I did. Why did I do that again? Oh that's right, she begged me for one. _Taylor makes her way over to the table and picks up our plates in a way that forces me to look at her boobs. She waltzes into the kitchen, swaying her hips with far too much momentum, and comes back with two steaming plates of lasagna. "Dinner's served!"

She sets the plate down and I immediately start devouring it. Not really tasting it, just sort of swallowing it down whole. Louis calls that the snake blood in me. I finish quickly and lean back in my chair to see Taylor not even done with half of her helping.

"Well, I'm sorry I didn't get you anything." I lie.

"Oh, that's okay." She says taking our plates in to the kitchen. She comes back with an odd look on her face that makes me a bit scared. "I hope you don't mind I have more planned for you." And she winks at me.

_This is bad_, I think to myself. But it's been over a month since I've gotten laid and two days since I've even wanked. What's a boy to do? And soon enough we're in my room tearing the clothes off each other like animals. It takes what feels like seconds before I'm thrusting hard and she's moaning obscenely loud in my ear. I'm close, and I know she is to, but I can't seem to get there. This feels so wrong and dirty knowing that Louis has slept in this bed… Shirtless… Maybe with out pants on either… Or underwear. And I'm there. I barely collapse on Taylor before she's shoving me off of her with force a girl her size shouldn't have. My head hits the wall with a crack and I wince in pain.

"What was that for?" I ask her

"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?" She shouts louder than I knew her voice could get. She's standing next to my bed, still naked, her face contorted in rage.

"What the hell are you talking about?" I shout back, not nearly as loud as her.

"YOU CALLED ME LOUIS!" She screams, and I freeze.

"Did I?" I ask quietly, afraid of the answer.

"YES!" She's getting dressed, putting her shirt on backwards in her haste. As she slips her jeans over her hips she reaches into her pocket and throws whatever was in it at my chest. "WE ARE NEVER EVER GETTING BACK TOGETHER!" She screams, and then she's gone. I hear the front door slam her feet stomping down the hall as she goes. I look down at my chest and see the key I gave her lying there. I can't keep down my smile.

**A/N: Was it good for you to? Let me just apologize for all the Taylor bashing in this. I know this isn't a real band but if it were I'm sure Harry and Taylor would be very cute together and I would wish them the best of luck but I thought of this in Spanish class a few days ago and I just couldn't keep inside any longer! I also must apologize for how long this took me to post. That's just so rude to my three followers. (Three!) Thank you so much for that by the way, and thank you to my two reviewers as well! All five of you make me feel sparkly on the inside. And lastly, PLEASE LEAVE REVIEW! I know this has been asked of you many times many different ways but if you are an author on here you know how good it feels to have someone take the time out of their day to tell you what they think. Don't you want me to feel that to? Now that this author's note is sufficiently long and boring I bid you all farewell! Until next time!**


	5. Chapter 5

**ATTENTION: THIS STORY IS ABOUT A BAND THAT I CREATED IN MY HEAD. THE BAND IS CALLED "NO DIRECTION" AND THE MEMBERS ARE AS FOLLOWS:  
-HARRY STILES  
-LOUIS THOMLINSON  
-ZAYN MALICK  
-LIAM PAIN  
-NIALL HORAM  
ALL CHARACTERS AND EVENTS IN THIS STORY ARE COMPLETELY FICTIONAL. ANY LIKENESS TO ACTUAL PEOPLE AND/OR EVENTS IS COMPLETELY COINCIDENTAL AND UNINTENTIONAL.**

**Louis' point of view**

Liam's couch is cold and has a severe lack of Harry Stiles. But Harry Stiles has an excessive amount of Taylor Swaft. She had called me earlier this afternoon. I remember every word.

"Loubear?" She said and I cringed. She is not allowed to call me that.

"Yes?" I reply as coldly as one can say the word 'yes.'

"Will you be home tonight?"

"No, actually I'll be over at Liam's place."

"Perfect." She said in a voice that I feel like could give someone a venereal disease.

_They're probably fucking right now,_ my mind chimes in helpfully. I roll over on the couch, trying to sort myself into something remotely comfortable, when my phone buzzes unexpectedly on the nearby table. I pick up and smile at what's on my screen.

**ONE NEW TEXT FROM HAZZA: u awake Loubear?**

I almost don't want to respond, what if he just wants to tell me how he banged Taylor and how amazing it was? Or how incredibly and completely in love with her he is. I don't I could live through that. But I do respond. As his best mate it's my responsibility to listen to him even when I don't want to. It's not fair of me to ignore him like I have been just because I've become somewhat of an emotional mess. Besides, I miss him and having to listen about what Taylor Swaft looks like naked is better than nothing I suppose.

**REPLY TO HAZZA: Yeah I'm awake. Trying to sleep on Liam's couch is like trying to sleep on a bed of nails. But what are you doing up? You should be in bed young man!**

I wait for all but a second before my screen lights up again.

**ONE NEW TEXT FROM HAZZA: srry mum i couldnt fall asleep. do u think u could come home? i need to talk to u. **

I sigh.

**REPLY TO HAZZA: Harry you know I love you and nothing sound better right now than being home and talking to you but I'm so tired. And I hate driving at night. You remember driving through Austin! I was a mess! Can it wait until morning? I promise I'll leave as soon as I get up.**

**ONE NEW TEXT FROM HAZZA: please louis. i need you. **

My heart shatters inside my chest. I know it sounds stupid but the thought that Harry needs me makes me more than a little excited. And the thought that I'm not there for him makes me more than a little depressed. Oh, and the way he took the time to write out actual words!

**REPLY TO HAZZA: I'm on my way.**

I slip out from under my blanket and put on my jacket before my phone buzzes one last time.

**ONE NEW TEXT FROM HAZZA: thank u so much lou. drive safe bb i love u.**

I practically sprint out the door.

"Harry?" I call out into the dark flat, just a little too loudly for two thirty in the morning. But I can't help it. On the ride over here my mind conjured up all these horrible images of Harry crying, or bleeding, or dead.

"Harry!" I shout.

"Quiet down Lou!" A harsh whisper comes from down the hall and I see Harry standing in his doorway wearing a pair of sweats… and nothing else. My feet are taking me before I realize I'm going and next thing I know my arms are wrapped around Harry's neck and my face is hidden in his shoulder.

"Louis?" He says quietly.

" I thought you might've been dead." I whisper.

"Oh Loubear." He wraps his strong arms around my waist. Harry buries his nose in my hair and sighs deeply. "I missed you."

A tear slips out at that one.

"Lou don't cry," he shushes me gently. "I never wanted to make you cry." I pull away from him slightly so I can look properly into his green eyes as I speak.

"It's not your fault it's mine. I've been such an asshole to you and I'm so sorry Harry. Could you ever forgive me?"

I'm full on crying now, tear after tear pouring down my cheeks and I wonder briefly when I became such a girl. But then Harry leans down and pecks my cheek softly, kissing away a tear, and I can't think anymore.

"No more tears Lou, I can't stand seeing you cry." He whispers in my ear, gripping me tighter than before. "It's not your fault, I know you don't believe me Lou but it's true." Smiling, I melt into his arms and let him hold me for a few more minutes before reality starts to set in. Backing away a little nervously I don't miss the hurt look that passes through Harry's eyes as his arms fall from my waist and mine from his neck.  
"So," I start awkwardly. "why did you need me over here at this ungodly hour of the morning?"

He gives me a confused look for a few moments before realization hits him.  
"Yeah... Well... it's stupid. Don't worry about it." He says turning around towards his door.  
"Harry," I grab his wrist. "What is it? Harry look at me." He turns slowly.

"Taylor broke up with me." He says quietly and I resist the urge to jump up and in joy.

"Why?" I ask. It's as much as I can say without squealing. Harry sort of freezes oddly for a moment before saying,

"C-can we talk about this in the morning? I'm really tired Lou."

"Sure thing Harry." I say, Harry has obviously had a rough night and I won't push him for more... Yet. I start making my way to my room and when I reach the door I notice Harry hasn't moved.  
"Well?" I say.

"Well what?"

"Well aren't you coming to bed?"

**A/N: You may have noticed the announcement at the beginning of this and all my other chapters. It has been brought to my attention that this story could be taken away from me if it is suspected that this story is written about non-fictional characters. Obviously this story is not about non-fictional characters. Have you ever heard of Niall Horam? Exactly. Oh well at least this story is safe from removal! ... FOR NOW. Goodbye my lovelies I will see you all soon! **


	6. Chapter 6

**ATTENTION: THIS STORY IS ABOUT A BAND THAT I CREATED IN MY HEAD. THE BAND IS CALLED "NO DIRECTION" AND THE MEMBERS ARE AS FOLLOWS:  
-HARRY STILES  
-LOUIS THOMLINSON  
-ZAYN MALICK  
-LIAM PAIN  
-NIALL HORAM  
ALL CHARACTERS AND EVENTS IN THIS STORY ARE COMPLETELY FICTIONAL. ANY LIKENESS TO ACTUAL PEOPLE AND/OR EVENTS IS COMPLETELY COINCIDENTAL AND UNINTENTIONAL.**

**Harry's point of view.**

**A/N: The beginning is spaced out a little odd, I'm sorry but I'm not too good with computers and I couldn't figure out how to fix it. The rest of it looks fine to me though, hope you enjoy!**

Louis' bedroom makes me smile. A string of lights dangles around his ceiling, posters are tacked up on every inch of wall, there's the occasional stuffed animal here and there. It's fun and happy and just a little childish. It's Louis. I turn on my side and look at him now. He looks adorable, buried under his aqua blue comforter, only his head peaking out from under mounds of fluff. I can't help myself; I lean over and kiss the tip of his nose. He stirs slightly then his eyes peak open ever so slowly.

At first his expression is one of annoyance, then his pupils focus on me and I smile wider at the way he visibly relaxes.

"Good morning Hazza." Louis says, wiping his tired eyes with the backs of his hands.

"Morning Lou." I say back. He turns towards me and smiles.

"What?" I ask him, poking him playfully in the side.

"Whenever you wake up in the morning your hair makes you look like a baby chicken." I laugh.

"You're mad Boobear."

"Says the baby chicken." He says, mussing up my hair with his hands. "Oh speaking of baby chickens! You're making me eggs for breakfast!"

"Am I?"

"Yes... Please?" He looks at me with big blue eyes and there is no way I can say no to that. But that doesn't mean I'm not going down without a fight.

"On one condition."

"Anything." For a moment my mind goes to all the dirty things the word 'anything' could imply. Imagine the look on his face if I had told to him to get on his knees. Not a happy look I'm guessing.

"You have to come with me. I refuse to make you eggs all by my lonesome."

"But my bed's so warm Hazza." Louis whines, sticking out his bottom lip.

"Yes it is, and it's so unfair to make me venture out into the tundra that is the kitchen without any company." I reply with a pout of my own. Louis seems to ponder this for a moment before sighing heavily.

"Alright, but these better be some damn good eggs."

"I promise you these eggs will be the best eggs you have ever tasted." I throw back the comforter, ignoring Louis' squeal of protest, and leap from the bed. Turning around I see Louis has not moved an inch.

"Louis?"

"Hmmm." Louis mumbles and I smile.

"Do you want eggs or not?" Louis nods. "You have vocal cords for a reason Lou."

"You know I want eggs Harry. Why are you torturing me like this?"

"Lou," I say, leaning against the open door frame. "I'm not torturing you. All I want is some chit chat while I cook you breakfast. Is that to much to ask?" Louis stays silent for a moment before lifting one hand towards me.

"Help me up." He mumbles and I laugh, grabbing onto his hand and yanking upwards.

"You're hopeless." I mumble with a smile into the fabric of his t-shirt as his body collides with mine. He pulls away slightly, wrapping his arms around my neck and looking up at me with a sad smile on his face.

"I know." I don't think we're talking about eggs anymore. Louis looks so cute standing in his sweatpants and the way his hands rest gently on the nape of my neck feel so right and god damn it all if I don't want to kiss him. I wonder if he'd let me. I wonder what I would do if he did let me. I have an automated response for almost everything Louis does. Louis cries and I hug him, Louis is angry and I let him cool, Louis is laughing and I laugh with him, Louis wants to be held and I open up my arms. But Louis wants me to kiss him? I don't have a response to that. Kiss him back would probably be the best one. But would my brain be able to communicate with my mouth in a situation like that?

"Harry?" I'm pulled from my thoughts by Louis' concerned voice. He gives me a face that says this isn't the first time he's tried to get my attention. "You alright?"

"I'm fine." My voice cracks and I clear my throat. "Let's go get you some eggs." I pull his arms down from my neck and walk hastily towards the kitchen, desperate to clear my mind. Sure Louis kissing me may be a lovely thought but I know deep down that it will never happen. And I'm not going to go screwing around with the best thing that ever happened to me just to make sure.

Once in the kitchen Louis hops onto his designated spot on the counter and as I move about getting the pan and eggs I can feel his eyes on me. I turn and glance at him. His eyes are on me, but it's like he's not _looking_ at me. I can tell his thoughts are elsewhere and I'm curious as to where that might be.

"What'cha thinking about Lou?" I ask. He jumps a little bit like he forgot I was in the room and I don't miss the faint blush that washes over his cheeks.

"Nothing." He says.

"Nothing?"

"Yeah, nothing." He mumbles and looks down, suddenly finding his feet to be the most interesting thing in the room.

"You can talk to me you know." I say sincerely. "I won't judge you."

Louis just sighs and doesn't look up.

"Lou?" I say, concern clear in my tone.

"Why did you and Taylor break up?" The question surprises and disappoints me all at once. I was hoping he had forgotten. I turn back to the stove, cracking three eggs into the pan.

"It's kind of a long story." I murmur.

"You said you wanted chit chat." He says. "So go on… chit chat."

I groan. "It's embarrassing, Lou."

I can feel more than I can hear him huff with impatience and I would've smiled had it not been for the current situation.

"You can trust me to you know. I'm not going to judge you either." Louis says and I know that it's true, but I can't shake the feeling that if he knew what I did he wouldn't feel that way. Maybe I don't have to tell him every little detail, just the important stuff. I push the now cooked eggs onto a plate, grab two forks, and make my way into the dining room. Louis sits across the table and stares at me expectantly as I hand him a fork.

"Fine, I'll tell you." I say and he smiles triumphantly. "Last night Taylor came over to make me dinner. Everything was lovely and fine and naturally things progressed into my bedroom." Louis makes fake retching noises and I throw a piece of egg at him before continuing. "As I was saying, things were getting pretty hot and heavy and right as we were… finishing, I said a name." I say awkwardly. "And it wasn't Taylor's."

"Jesus Christ Hazza." Louis says, looking at me with a shell-shocked expression. "Bet she didn't appreciate that one much did she?"

"No she did not." I chuckled. " I think there may actually be a dent where my head hit the wall." Louis laughed before saying what I had hoped he wouldn't.

"So who's name _did_ you say?" I look at him with pleading eyes, hoping he won't make me answer. "Oh come on Haz! You can't tell me you were fantasizing about some other woman and then not tell me who she is!"

"No." I reply simply. But as expected, he does not let up.

"Who is it? Is it a celebrity?" I shake my head. "Even better! Oh, is it that girl from the coffee shop? She's pretty fit."

I know this game could go on for hours so I make a snap decision I hope I won't regret. "It's not a she." I say. Louis head snaps up and he stares at me wide-eyed and silent. I start to panic.

"I knew telling would be a bad idea." I say scrambling to get my plate and rush into the kitchen, not wanting to see Louis look at me like that anymore. "I'm sorry. Just… just pretend like I didn't say anything alright?" I didn't know Louis had followed me until his voice rang out from behind me.

"Harry calm down." He says putting a hand on my shoulder and turning me around. He braces both of his hands on my shoulders tightly, like he's afraid I'm going to bolt again. To be honest I kind of want to, but Louis' eyes are back down to their normal size and he's smiling so sweetly at me and I can't help but relax just a little.

"Are you gay Harry?" Louis asks me and honestly I don't know the answer. The only man I've ever thought about being with is Louis. But I suppose when I think about it the thought of sleeping with another man isn't exactly unappealing. Then again I feel the same way about sleeping with women. Take Taylor for example, it may not have been the best relationship of my life but she had been a pretty good fuck. Up until the very end that is.

"I think I might be bisexual." I say, as that seems to be the most logical answer. As soon as the words come out of my mouth Louis' up on the tips of his toes pulling me into a tight hug. I wrap my arms around his slim waist as he speaks again.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asks, his words muffled from the way he put his head into my shoulder.

"I guess I was scared." I say.

"Don't be Harry." Louis says, looking me in the eyes. "I meant it when I said you could trust me."

I smile at the warmth and sincerity of his words. "I know Lou, I'm sorry."

"No need for apologies." He smiles back up at me. "I just hate to think of you having to go through this all by yourself. Promise me no more secrets, okay Hazza?" Louis lifts one of his arms and offers me one of his hands, pinky up. And I even though I know it's a lie and I feel terrible I wrap one of my pinkies around his.

"I promise."

**A/N: Longest chapter so far woot woot! I know I do this with every chapter but I must thank you all yet again for your support! There has been so much more feedback than I ever imagined and nearly all of it is so positive! AH SO MANY FEELS! And now I shall be abusing all your support for my own happiness. I posted a short oneshot not too long ago and if you want to feel free to read it. It's called 'Before Today' and I should warn you it is a fic about cutting, which I know nothing about, so what could go wrong! And if you don't want to read that maybe you could use that extra time to review this fic! Please? No? Okay… **


	7. Chapter 7

**ATTENTION: THIS STORY IS ABOUT A BAND THAT I CREATED IN MY HEAD. THE BAND IS CALLED "NO DIRECTION" AND THE MEMBERS ARE AS FOLLOWS:  
-HARRY STILES  
-LOUIS THOMLINSON  
-ZAYN MALICK  
-LIAM PAIN  
-NIALL HORAM  
ALL CHARACTERS AND EVENTS IN THIS STORY ARE COMPLETELY FICTIONAL. ANY LIKENESS TO ACTUAL PEOPLE AND/OR EVENTS IS COMPLETELY COINCIDENTAL AND UNINTENTIONAL.**

**A/N: HI! Great seeing all of you again! I'm sorry it took me a whole ten days to update. *Hangs head in shame* But I'm back now! Enjoy! (Yet again I apologize if this is formatted oddly!)  
**

**WARNINGS:**

**-Masturbation**

**-The watching of porn**

Louis's point of view

I can't sleep. It's two in the fucking morning and I can't sleep. I keep looking next to me at Harry's sleeping form and thinking to myself; "That boy, that boy right there, likes men." Personally I don't see anything wrong with it. It's just the thought of Harry with another man that drives me crazy. I groan and roll over yet again, trying to ignore the fluttering in my stomach and the insistent aching between my thighs.

I really can't explain why I'm reacting this way. I've never thought about two guys doing _that_ and now I can't get my brain to shut up about it. And it only gets worse when I start thinking about Harry like that... Or Harry and me like that.

Wait a second... Harry and I together, the fans have talked about that. They call it Larry Stylinson. I reach over to the laptop sitting on my end-table. Maybe if I look it up I can sort through my feelings a little more easily.

The screen lights up, illuminating my dark room, and as soon as I can I type 'larry stylinson' into the search bar. The first thing that pops up is a YouTube video. "Larry Stylinson/Read All About It", but it's not the title that catches my eye. No, it's the little thumbnail preview of the video before the title. From what I can see two men, one with brown curly hair and a fit body the other slimmer with straight bangs pushed out of his face, are having sex on a newspaper covered floor. My dick unhelpfully springs up with a renewed interest and with one look at Harry's closed eyes I click the link.

The video opens with a calm piano riff and the man who is supposed to be me lying down on the floor in slow motion. He lays there for a few seconds before he is joined by fake-Harry. Both men look surprisingly similar to us making it all the more interesting when they start getting closer to one another. My hardness quickly starts to become painful and I allow myself the relief of palming myself through my sweats.  
Fake-Harry leans in to kiss fake-me in slow motion and as soon as their lips meet everything is sped up. They rub their hands all over each other like they can't help it and I slowly start to rub myself. I don't think I've ever been so turned on in my life, and it only gets worse when fake-Harry climbs on top of fake-me and starts kissing his neck. Fake-me looks like he's just having a grand old time and I can't help but feel slightly jealous of him. He's running his hands through fake-Harry's hair and all up and down his back and damn it I want to be able to do that to. Fake-Harry crawls his way down below fake-me's waistline and out of the sight of the camera and I curse quietly. I want to know what he's doing, I want to see it, want to feel it.

Fake-me leans up to take off his shirt and I dip my hand beneath my pants and keep rubbing outside my now damp knickers. For a few seconds all I see is fake-me writhing on the floor in pleasure and I again wonder exactly what fake-Harry is up to before he's back in the screen, and this time he's shirtless. Fake-Harry kisses fake-me on the lips and neck and it's so much better now that I can see the graceful line of fake-Harry's spine and the muscles of his back rippling and clenching with all his movements. Then fake-Harry is backing up out of sight again and I don't have time to groan in frustration before fake-me is turning over onto his stomach. I moan a little too loudly as I realize what's about to happen and I can't resist any more. I thrust my hand down my knickers and wrap my fingers around my length tightly and begin stroking myself as slowly as I can make myself go. Fake-Harry comes back up behind fake-me and my stomach coils in anticipation.  
Then there is this moment where you can tell fake-Harry is entering fake-me. Fake-Harry tenses with the effort of going slowly and fake-me's hands grasp for purchase at the floor and my hand speeds up around my cock, all pretenses of going slow immediately forgotten. Fake-Harry starts thrusting into fake-me and I feel myself getting closer and closer to coming. But it's when fake-Harry pulls fake-me's head back and kisses his lips, an almost tender moment during all this animalistic passion, that one of the best orgasms of my life rushes up and takes me by surprise and before I know it I'm sitting on my bed panting with a sticky mess in my sweatpants.

That's when I realized that I just masturbated to thoughts of my best mate while he sleeps next to me... And I have a girlfriend.

**A/N: Sorry this chapter is so short, but it's smutty so that makes up for it… right? I also just wanted to let you know that the video Louis watched in this is REAL. It's the same title that it is in the chapter above. I stumbled upon it on Christmas Eve and I burst into flames, it's my second favorite thing on the Internet. My first favorite thing is all your lovely reviews! Speaking of which… PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW! Seriously, I need them to survive. **


	8. Chapter 8

**ATTENTION: THIS STORY IS ABOUT A BAND THAT I CREATED IN MY HEAD. THE BAND IS CALLED "NO DIRECTION" AND THE MEMBERS ARE AS FOLLOWS:  
-HARRY STILES  
-LOUIS THOMLINSON  
-ZAYN MALICK  
-LIAM PAIN  
-NIALL HORAM  
ALL CHARACTERS AND EVENTS IN THIS STORY ARE COMPLETELY FICTIONAL. ANY LIKENESS TO ACTUAL PEOPLE AND/OR EVENTS IS COMPLETELY COINCIDENTAL AND UNINTENTIONAL.**

**A/N: WARNINGS FOR LANGUAGE AND NONGRAPHIC SEX(Sorry for any weird formatting!)  
**

"I'm heading out Harry!" Louis called from the front door.

"Drink responsibly!" I shout back from my spot on the couch. I turn around to smile at him but just like every other time today Louis' just blushed furiously and averted his gaze towards the ground. "You alright, Lou?" My voice is laced heavily with concern, he's been like this all day. He can't look me in the eyes, can't sit with me on the couch, he can't even listen to me speak before he's 'gotta go'.

"I'm fine." Louis says. He glances up at my face for maybe a millisecond and my dissatisfaction must be written all over my face. "Honest, Harry. I'll be back before midnight alright?"

"Alright." I say quietly getting up to close the door behind him. Louis practically sprints to the car as I advance and I sigh. "Say 'hi' to El for me!"

"Will do!" And he's gone. I plop back on the couch feeling suddenly exhausted. Whatever it is that Louis' going through I hope Eleanor will be able to shake him out of it. I may not be too fond of her but Lou sure is. Besides, Lou tends to be quite talkative after he's had a few too many drinks and El's a good listener. Hopefully the bar they're going to has plenty of inexpensive cocktails to choose from and while in the morning I'll have a hungover Louis on my hands at least he'll be my hungover Louis again. With thoughts off Louis in mind I drift off into a peaceful sleep.

_Clank, clank..._ "Oh bloody hell..." _Clank, clank..._

I sit up, awakened by a string of banging and cursing from the front door. Standing up, I cross the room and open the door to find a very disheveled looking Louis fiddling with his keys.

"HARREH!" He shouts upon seeing me. Louis wraps his arms around my neck and plants a sloppy wet kiss on my cheek. "Just the man that I wanted to see!"

"Hey, Lou." Lou stumbles a bit on his tiptoes and I can't help but laugh slightly. Louis' always has been such a pleasant drunk. But still I feel a bit wary. The kiss he gave me, as slobbery and alcohol induced as it was, made me feel... Light. It's a lot more affection than I've gotten from Louis in quite a while and I'm craving more.

"You know," he says, his face is buried in my neck and I can't hold back the shiver that runs up my spine at the feel of his hot breath on my bare skin. His tone worries me though, all husky and low. "I've always thought you looked sexy in this shirt."

"Lou, lets get you inside." I say almost immediately as he paws at the fabric of my cotton T-shirt. _Notgoodnotgoodnotgood_.

"M'kay." He says almost sleepily. Louis make several more comments like the first on out way to his room, _"These jeans make you look super fit... Oh Haz when did you get so muscular?" _and I have to keep reminding myself that Louis isn't in his right mind. That he'll wake up in the morning, look back on this, and never make eye contact with me again.

"You going to be alright?" I ask as we reach his room, looking for the quickest way out of this.

"Why? Are you not staying?" He pouts.

"I don't think I should." I know I shouldn't. Every second I spend here I get closer and closer to ruining everything.

"Why not?" He says, walking towards me and wrapping his arms around my neck with far more graceful confidence than a drunk should have.

"Louis." I meant to say as a threat but Louis seemed to take it as encouragement.

"What?" He says huskily, leaning into whisper in my ear. "You scared?" Louis moves down slightly and brushes his lips just below my ear and I feel myself grow harder and harder by the second. My hands find their way to his hips and I feel him smirk against my neck, but I won't go down that easy.

"Y-you..." But my voice is hard to find when it's buried in lust, thankfully Louis pulls away from my skin to look me in the eyes.

"I what?" He asks, his voice barely above a whisper.

"You have a girlfriend." His face drops.

"Not anymore." Louis says somewhat sadly. "We broke up."

"Oh." _God damn it._ Thoughts of Eleanor are one of the very few things that keeps me from jumping Louis every chance I get. Louis smiles at my lack of an intelligent response and leans in again. He tugs on the skin of my neck with his teeth before soothing the spot with his tongue. I try my best to hold in any sort of sound but I can't help the small moan the escapes my lips. Lou chuckles lowly and with how close we are standing to each other I can feel his chest vibrate against mine

"Lou, this is wrong." I say harshly, it's the all I have left. I'm so close to breaking.

"No it's not." He says looking me in the eyes. "I want this, I _know_ you want this." He pushes one of his thighs between mine and I whimper at the contact. "C'mon curly, don't be such a pussy." He says smirking cockily and that's what does it for me. My blood _roars_ as I push him backwards in a white hot flash of pent up lust and fury. Louis gasps as his back bangs loudly against the wall.

"Harry what th-" he doesn't get to finish before my lips are slammed onto his. It feels like my heart is going to pound out of my chest and I swear I can hear Louis' beating to. I swallow up Louis' moan as his body melts into mine with a delicious shiver. At the first touch of our tongues I am quickly able to look past the sour taste of alcohol and find the taste of pure _Louis_. His hands are everywhere, in my hair, on my abs, rubbing up and down my clothed cock. God it all felt so much better than I thought possible. It felt so right. All the guilt previously clouding my mind was gone, miles and miles away. Louis breaks off the kiss and I don't have time to be disappointed before the two greatest words I have ever heard Louis say tumble drunkenly from his mouth.

"Fuck me." And that's exactly what I do. I carry him to his bed, throw him down, and after what feels like minutes it's all over. Louis' glistening body is curled into mine and I have my arms wrapped around him tightly, trying to hold him closer. In the back of my mind I think to myself, _"What have I done?"_ But looking down at Louis' peaceful sleeping face, I can't help but feel like I haven't done anything wrong. That this is the way everything was meant to be. So I lay my chin on Louis' head, close my eyes, and pray that when Louis wakes up he won't hate me forever.

**A/N: I feel so terrible about how long it took me to write and post this. And I know I shouldn't be trying to make excuses but let me tell you what went down. I wrote this one-shot called "I was normal" and not only was it the longest Fanfic I've ever written it was also THE BEST! I was so excited to have people read and tell me what they thought. After all it did take me three days to write, I deserve a little feedback! It wasn't even up for twenty-four hours before it was reported and removed… GAAAAH! I'll be honest, I cried. Hard. (Don't you judge me) So I have a question for all of you and if you could message me the answer that would be so fantastic, If I were to repost the story would that get me into some sort of trouble? I really don't think I could survive if I was removed from this website. Thank you so much for answering/reading my story/reading my rant, I love you all so very very much! Leave a review!... Or don't… OR DO. #haveImadethatjokebefore? **


	9. Chapter 9

**ATTENTION: THIS STORY IS ABOUT A BAND THAT I CREATED IN MY HEAD. THE BAND IS CALLED "NO DIRECTION" AND THE MEMBERS ARE AS FOLLOWS:  
-HARRY STILES  
-LOUIS THOMLINSON  
-ZAYN MALICK  
-LIAM PAIN  
-NIALL HORAM  
ALL CHARACTERS AND EVENTS IN THIS STORY ARE COMPLETELY FICTIONAL. ANY LIKENESS TO ACTUAL PEOPLE AND/OR EVENTS IS COMPLETELY COINCIDENTAL AND UNINTENTIONAL.**

**A/N: Just thought I'd let you all know that I have a wattpad account (same username, rainbowsugarcupcakes) where I will post all my stories if they are deleted from this website.**

**Harry's point of view. **

I haven't seen Louis all day. I also haven't showered, eaten, or put on a shirt all day but I can't bring myself to care about those things, not when Louis won't answer my calls or texts. I knew this would be Louis' immediate reaction, to run. Most of the time he's very good about facing things head-on and not being afraid. But there are some things he just can't handle. I never wanted to be one of those things for him.

I had hoped that I would be the first to wake up. If that had happened maybe I could've gotten him to stay or at least talk to me, say something before he bolted. I know he would've been freaked out but so am I. I could've helped him. We could've helped each other through this. But none of that happened. And that hurts. It hurts to know that he woke up, saw me sleeping there, and his first thought was to leave.

For what feels like the millionth time that day I turn over the note in my hands. The words written on it are not in Louis' usual loopy handwriting but looks as though he had been shaking while scribbling down those seven words.

_"I'm going out. Don't look for me."_

Why would he have been shaking? Was he angry with himself that he had stooped so low and to slept with me? Was he crying at the thought that our friendship would never _ever_ be the same again? Or was he scared? Scared of me? Does he think I… oh my God does he think I raped him?

"Oh God." I whisper to myself because I might as well have. I had _known_ that he was to liquored up to make reasonable decisions, I had _known_ that if he were sober he never would have said the things he did, I had _known_ that he'd hate me in the morning, but what did I do? I gave into temptation. I let myself fuck him while my subconscious _screamed_ at me the entire time about how wrong this was. But did I care? No, I looked past that easily because Louis was so hot and so needy and so drunk and willing and _"Oh my god yes Harry right there!"_ rang in my ears far louder than _"What the hell are you doing you fucking idiot?"_ ever could. I _raped _Louis.

At that exact moment I heard the sound of keys jingling and the creak of the front door opening. "Harry?" Louis' meek little voice chimes and I just barely resist the urge to crawl under the couch I was sitting on. "Harry?" Louis repeats as he rounds the corner his face appears relatively calm until his eyes land on mine.

"Harry are… are you crying?"

"Am I?" I ask because I genuinely don't know. I wouldn't be surprised though.

"Oh Harry." He says taking a seat beside me. I shy away from him immediately feeling disgusted with myself, having him trying to comfort me after what I did to him.

"Harry don't be like that." He says and I can tell by the way his voice sounds that he's already so close to tears.

"Oh yeah, and why not? It's what you did to me." I say without thinking and immediately regret it. He should be angry with me not the other way around.

"Harry I'm sorry." The hurt is evident in his tone and I can't bring myself to look him in the eyes anymore. "This isn't… I… fuck." He stutters out and I feel tears start to drip down my face.

"I'm really sorry Louis." I say quietly.

"What?" He asks sounding genuinely confused though I can't imagine why.

"I'm sorry that I did that to you. I should've just made sure you got to bed and left. But I didn't and I'm disgusting and horrible and selfish and God Louis I'm so sorry." I'm sobbing hard now it hurts my chest every time I try to breath.

"Harry what are you talking about?" I can tell he's crying to and the sound hurts worse than anything I've ever felt in my entire life.

"Louis I raped you!" I shout loudly, punching the coffee table hard out of anger for myself. And when I look back up at Louis he looks so shocked and afraid that I just want to die. "I raped you." I say, softer this time.

"Harry I…" He starts but his voice breaks. "Harry that's not true."

"Don't." I say sternly, wiping the tears off my cheeks. I don't want him to make excuses for me to try and salvage our friendship. It won't work. "I should go." I whisper as I stand up. "I've done enough."

"Stop!" He says, grabbing my wrist and standing in front of me. "Harry you didn't rape me."

"Louis if you were sober you wouldn't have wanted it and I…"

"Shut up!" He interrupts me loudly. "Now you listen to me, that may not have been the way I pictured this happening but don't you _dare_ tell me that I didn't want it." He snaps at me. There's a moment of silence where I let his words wash over me before I whisper softly,

"You don't hate me?" Tears start to form in my eyes again and Louis immediately relaxes as his eyes soften at my words.

"No I don't hate you." He says, pulling me by the shoulders into a tight hug. "I could never hate you, Harry." I feel myself release a breath I didn't know I had been holding as I wrap my arms around his hips.

"And I don't regret last night either." He says as if he can read my mind. "I just didn't think I'd be so blackout drunk our first time."

"Have you thought about our first time before?" I ask and he chuckles against my neck.

"Yeah I have. A lot." He nearly whispers and I can imagine the embarrassed blush that has spread across his cheeks.

"Oh have you?" I snicker, suddenly feeling much better than I did just minutes before.

"Mmhm." He hums as he pulls away slightly with a small smile, leaving our faces less than an inch apart. But before anything else happens I need to say something.

"I want us to be together Lou." I say seriously looking straight into his crystal clear blue eyes and my heart skips a beat as, without a moment's hesitation, he says,

"I want that to, Harry." I smile wider than I've ever smiled before and when I lean in down to kiss him it feels so great because I know I _can. _

"I love you, Harry." He says as though he didn't mean to and his face becomes so shocked and scared for a moment but I just laugh and kiss away all his fear with a small whisper of,

"I love you to, Boobear."

**THE END.**

**A/N: IT'S OVER! Thank you all so much for your support throughout this story! You're all so amazing and incredible and nice and PATIENT! I cannot believe that this story has one favorite, six followers, nine reviews, and OVER TWO THOUSAND VIEWS! WHAT? YEAH YOU HEARD ME. Seriously it means the world to me, I love you all so very, very much and you will hopefully be hearing from me soon! BYE! **


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